Observations from a guy who pretends to know more than you do but knows how stupid he really is.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

What Did You Learn About White People?

As a Caucasian living in Asia, I am subject to a lot of discrimination. Working in the public schools, as I have for the past two years, the children have taught me some things about how they perceive white people:

  1. They are fat.
  2. They are tall.
  3. They complain a lot.
  4. They don't take enough baths in a day. They stink. [AE's note: but they haven't discovered the amazing invention called deodorant, so it doesn't matter. Our pits smell better.]
  5. They eat bread for every meal, just as we eat rice for every meal.
  6. They are very strict with their families.
  7. The teachers are too strict. Why can't we eat when he's teaching?
  8. They lie. They all say they're poor but they have enough money to do things we'd never think of doing.
  9. They don't trust anybody.
  10. They don't appreciate the respect we give them. We stand when they enter the room. We apologize when we don't understand something. Why don't they see we like them?
  11. They are too proud of where they come from.
  12. They are conceited about their accomplishments [AE's note: I learned that at a job interview... but how do you tell them your accomplishments if they don't ask for references?]
  13. They hate rice.
  14. They hate all our food.
  15. If they had their way, it would be hamburgers three times (or more) a day.
  16. Their jokes are not funny.
  17. They don't think our jokes are funny. Fart jokes are always funny.
  18. They talk too loud.
  19. They talk too quickly.
  20. They whisper too much.
  21. They whisper too quickly.
  22. They can't understand why we want to look like them. Don't they see how ugly we are?
  23. They think they're so smart. 
  24. They have no respect for authority. Can't they see that you just obey who is in charge and never ask questions?
  25. They have WAY too much fun!

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I am writing this page anonymously. I am well known in certain parts of the world. Trained in one job and working in another job for the past 30 years. But I've done many other things.